Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Boobs speak an international language.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
