I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
