If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
