I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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