She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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