Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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