Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
