the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
