He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
