i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The struggles of a small town man whore
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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