You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
