It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize