I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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