gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
