Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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