guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
