Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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