the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
