And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
