remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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