as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you made out with another girl for some wings
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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