I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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