Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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