So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize