I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
