just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
