I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
