He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize