Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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