Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
