i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize