she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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