Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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