the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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