he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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