I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
