You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
