Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
