is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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