You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
