16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
