I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
