I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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