I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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