In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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