sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
