nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
