this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize