do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
