so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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