If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
