I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
