Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize