dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
