no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
