she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
