I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
