Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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