I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
