real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
