Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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