I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
