Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
