I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
