we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
