Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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