Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
