Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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