THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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