I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
