im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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