Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
