So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
